219 days

If I saw you today and you told me you've really changed
If you told me you were sorry and it kills you to know how much you've hurt me.
If you begged or my forgiveness and you wanted to make it up to me by making me only happy from now on,
Nothing would be something you've never promised me before
But would I be able to turn you down?

If I told you yes and that I've never stopped loving you, and how I've been wishing every day that you'd never left
If I took you back again and forgave ally our mistakes, would I be making a huge mistake of my own?
Would you love me and leave me like so many times I remember?
Would you leave me broken hearted and confused?
Would I be mad at myself for believing your lies, but even still, be wishing you were by my side?

But if I turned you away and finally chose to love me first, instead of loving you so blindly
If I told you I was done with you and all your stupid sorry's because I already know how it would end
Would it be the only time that these were your honest feelings?
Would I be turning down what I've waited for, for years?
Would this be my one chance to make you mine forever
And if it was, would I be able to tell?

If you were being honest, and I just couldn't see, and I told you I couldn't be with you
Would I find someone who could make me as happy, loving me with everything they had, as you made me never loving me at all?

I wish I knew the answers to how it all would go
But even more than that, I wish that I could be as happy as I was when I never had you .

Ps , you know i still do , and i know you read my blog every single day .