Morning loved ones

 I have no idea why im awake at 5am in the morning . Well , this will be a shortpost . Will update about shopping trip later night .

Its raining so heavy and perhaps thats the reason why i cant sleep. or maybe you keep on texting me ? can you please dont text me ? it hurts . cause i heard , somehow, you called me "______" .


Anybody heard that bestfriend is sick ? awww , pity him . Get well soon zaidi . mwah!  .<3
oh yes , im craving for curry puff please ?

toodles babys . :) 

Desires for her .

Hello humanoids . Today is a normal day . Met shikin outside my house cause she broke up with akid . Then skip skip crying part . Oh ya , when shikin told me how much she did not wanna lose her boyfriend , suddenly i thought about zaidi , and realised how much i never wanted to lose him as my fav bestest boy-friend . I love you bestfriend . I will never call you my 2nd . seriously . Then , asked daddy for money to top up my phone cause he cancel plan go sheng shiong . Pantat . My lil missy accompanied me . Love her . A minute after i top up , zaidi call , like magic he know i top up , finally hear his voice , to me it's been decades omgeee! . Hahaha , and e , that peaceful guy asking a slap from me issit ? Oh yes , chatted with Dan , CUTE AH , my crush , for me to know , for you to find out! heeheehee , okay peepos , shortpost . Will be going out with babygirl , izzat , wani , hairul , dayahh to buy clothes for our modern dance during ndp in school . Update soon ! xxox .
Trust me , i care .

Forever Fav Boyfriend .

I know i was wrong , i know i seemed i did not care at all . Well , actually i do .Trust me , i went deep down to know about your daily routine .I was worried , i know for now , you're saying im heartless and all zaidi. the fact is that i dont wanna be weak anymore , keeping on feeling hurt for myself . but here i am . admitting  , I MISS YOU FAV BOYFRIEND , I REALLY DO . :( I LOVE YOU , I CARE ABOUT YOU . it's you ZAIDI JAILANI <3

Solo riders in love

This is making me crazy . Im still having this bloody sickness . Fever and flu sucks big time . Does he have any idea how much i miss him ? I bet he dosen't .I am happy  , but a lil bit wrong in the inside . Whatever . Who the hell do i blog like ? I think its you . Well , whatever . Up to you looserz . Topping up my phone on friday .I'm gonna text alot of peepos soon . Meeting hyddy in my school tomorrow .Me love her . Having leg cramps too. I vomitted everything i ate . This is really happening to me ? Im used to it , well . Whatever it is , my friends and baby makes me happy <3 . You the best.  Im sorry if my post is pathetic , i have no mood . Really really sick . :( Update soon love , gotta get my pills in ma mouth .
you , you you , it's all diffrent without you , like how we used to be .

Real sick in the head .

Aloha cuties . So , i  did not turn up for school today  , why ? FEVER , COUGH  , FLU  , SORE THROAT . Clear enough ? haha .I basically pretty much stayed at home today . Mum bought pizzahut , pepperoni pizza , hawaiian , 2 garlic bread , baked beefballs . That basically made my day wow . All i said was i feel like eating pizza and she ordered ?! I LOVE YOU MUMMY . So yes , watched tvand talked and gossip with my BROTHER and LIL MISSY asyou can see in the pic above , I LOVE THEM SO MUCH , though they give me problems at times , they are still the best . My brother went out left me lil missy and mummy at home . Mum had to sleep cause she had to work later night . So , basically just played nintendo  , cooking mama games with lil missy .Around 8 met daddy at market cause lil missy want to buy a small bag for herself . I asked dad for top up , but he said friday ? Nah , whats the hurry right ? I just said okay . Dad asked whether i wanted to go to the doctor i said no cause its no use , waste of money . haha . Reached home , mum was late for work , omg . Me and dad viewed weird people on facebook , hahahaha . I showed my dad a certain someone (girl) and dad said , her face seriously need to be suckedby a vaccum . LOL daddy LOL . hahahaha . Overall  i miss whole family outings . Soon kay "TAN FAMILY" ? We are still the happy family okay ? LOVES! :) . Update soon , xoxo .

How i wish we were how it used to be .

Looserz-weeperz .

And i wanna wish a happy birthday to my  baby muhammad ridhwan aka nomad . Me love you , sorry no present okay ? The weird thing is that nomad told me , its okay if there is no present , he just want me to be happy . You the sweetest! Love you baby brother! School was like draggy today , it was ok , kinda fun  , but not fun .Daddy won't allow me go school tomorrow , fever and coughing blood , condition getting worst . naaah , im okay , i think ? School ended 12.30 and i skipped extra lessons , weak , im not feeling well . Went back to school for dance prac , faiz accompanied me to take my pants athme . hahaha . cute .Went to school waited for others , then i got to know having prac outside school . weak . hahahaha . Had prac bla bla bla , the story goes on . And dayah friend name adnan want my number . LOL . i have no idea , omg . hahahah .Went to slack near syaf's block and dayah went home . Went to babygirl(syafiqa) crib and had a girls talk , talkedabout our ex boyfriends andal , imagine , for two hours ? hahahaha . I LIKE IT THOUGH! . Had a great dinner with her family , sotong , kangkong and chicken . Me likeeey! . Went home and here i am blogging having fever , i keep on coughing out blood . ahhh! Whatever , it hurts my throat alot!! pleaseplease . Ishhhh .Well , update soon babygeeees , ohyes  , i am going shopping at the end of the month please ? :) . Anybody ? im sure baby will accompany me . love ya , xoxo .

changes happen for a reaon , a big one .

This is shit .

Oh hello . Today was kinda draggy for me , i stayed home the whole day , duh , im a good girl . So , i stayed home , watched tv , eat , watch tv , ewww . Im so not gonna keep up with this routine .So , ALOT of people texted me up to meet , but , my prepaid is low . boohoo , and plus i was really lazy la . I've been having countless of dance practices after school , rehearsals , extra lessons . I need REST . So , tomorrow ending school at 12.30pm . phew . im gonna stay in school like obviously . sheesh . PRACTICES. Oh yes , icannot text people , i sosad , no la . FAKE . People actually sad i never reply them . hahahahha . TOO BAD , end of the month i top up la babys , loves , skandals , husbands . Oh yes , i wanna meet ALOT of people soon . I know wednesday i meet hyddy ! . AWWW .

You know im hanging on to these hopes i thought that will come true . Im sorry if keep on making you wait , you know me don't you? I hope you understand . I love him more than you  , I just wanna be friends , cause im happy with all that i have now . I dont need a commitment just yet .

I miss you , but i don't wanna show it .

Hello peepos  Oh yes , you must be wondering who is nomad  , which is my fiancee and syak's skandal . hahaha , that is him , i know , he is hoooooot ! melts.So , today school was superduper fun !:)  . Had NDP rehearsal , and saw eddy ! . SHHHHH . Oh yes , went home late from school for already 3 days ?! . TIRING ! . But i kinda like it ! . I swear i don't wanna wash my sweater please ? Got his smell , wow . K , i sound crazy . Tomorrow meeting dayah baby and babygirl for one on one practice !. Sorry im not free to meet anyone . Sorry to , hazreen , syuaidi , zaidi , yan , lann . Im busy nowadays . SORRY AGAIN ! :) . I miss nomad ! heee , i miss ____ to . At school like he like , so , like , AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! heeheehee . Before i go crazy i better stop . Oh yes , coughed out blood AGAIN -.- . urrr  ?????? . Meeting hyddy on wednesday and i jumped up and down looking at her name in my school oral list !! ahhhh !!! and bella too !! :) . wow , im sure eddy miss them too . MEMORIES!! . awww , im tired , blog again poodles! oops , humans! :) . XOXO .

i dont wanna show to you that i miss you cause i wanna get over you , get it ? i don't wanna like you anymore.

Restless as always .

 wani and me <3333
School was extremely extremely fun . ME LOVE SCHOOL ! . HEEHE . So yeah , started of getting scolded in the morning . -.- . whatever . Other lessons was like so great . I concentrated in maths?!?!?! . WOW . Oh ya , i "cabot" my principal of accounts for the last 15mins  , me and faiz were bored to death so me , faiz , edwin , eugene , jieyou went to the canteen.  Always like this , im the only girl . HAHAHA . My husband (nomad) was good enough to stay in class . And did i mentioned that nomad got the same phone as me?!?!?!? Just for the sake of me , i love you nomad ! hahahaha .  we so the very sweet . Last period was geography . sat with wan sulaiman , my cute brother ~~ heehee . He ah , so stress , i more stress than him . HAHAHA . Went for elective module after school at 2pm and had fun with wani baby ! <3 , the only girl i can trust in class , for now . Oh other class i can trust alot , but not my class . susah . Wani permed and i straightened my hair , i look cikalapehsia . -.- . hahaha , after that as usual met up with my ELC  , for dance , learned new dance steps for song called kara . nice! but so faaast . slacked with ELC , oh yes , and wani is with izzat too . wani learn golek golek on the floor . hahahahaha . Oh yes . FADHIL ,APHIZ , SAM and more i forgot who came by to see us  . heeee  , actually , k diam la . Chill la , joking! hahahaha . i think . Went home after that to take my medicine cause i vomitted blood in school . DIE . hahahaha . RAWR RAWR~~ . Oh ya , sholihin so sweet , i asked him , what if i were to be dead ? he said , "aku akan mintak nk angkat mayat kau laaa , tk boleh lupekan org mcm kau sey" awwww~~!! sweetkan , nana , kat diena almost cried ,  heehee . I asked only whaat you guys . sighs . dont sad please ? i loveyou . ahhh yes , i did not see eddy in school ? i think ah ? forget sey! hahahahaha . I am meeting hyddy next thursday in my school because she is taking her oral in my school , cannot wait to meet her!!!!! i miss her! awww , okay loves , till here  , bye! xoxo.

please , stop being so stupid will you . come on .

A little better

 (i miss my baby boy , syaizstar zulhairi)

Hello babies . I did not turn up for school in the morning as i had fever but i went to school for elective module  cause i know wani bby is gonna be alone . So , went to school for elective and did nail art . my nails are in hot pink ! . Same as wani baby ! . So yes , ended at 5 and had dance rehearsal at school hall as im gonna perform on NDP . hahahahahahaha , NDP sia . So , stayed in school with my empire ladies and oh yes , hairul will be joining us!!!!!! . I saw eddy in school having npcc , and i think he saw me watering plants in school , omg so malu . HAHAHA . Finished around 6pm and went home lor . Gossip about one girl with my lilmissy , meand her getting close . hahahaha . We were both alone at home so played monopoly and hide and seek , i know , childish but shut up , my lil missy is still in  primary school , what do you expect me to do ?  Talk about boys ? no way . haha . But weird thing she kept on mentioning zaidi ? HAHAHA . eh zaidi , my lil sis obsessed with you ! hahahahah . Oh ya , im feeling a little better but still vommit blood every single night , fever and heart ache every morning and afternoon . booohoo . But , i will try and hold on to this pain as much as i can okay ? Thanks to my love ones for caring . Oh yes , bestfriend and second bestfriend , im sorry for everything , i miss you both alooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot ! :) . Update soon , xoxo .
i got no more crush on anyone and no one has a crush on me anymore .

Not ready to be with all

Hello people , school was normal , i had people that kept me going through the day . Was kinda moodless and had settle all misunderstandings . I don't want to think about school , so yeah , enough . This is gonna be such a short post . I wanna go to bed soon anyway . I miss watching the nanny  . SIGHS , Things is starting to change , well , i want it , i get it . This is what i want . right ? I have to get use to all this then . Don't text or call me . Even if you do , i can't reply , cause my prepaid is low and , im still not preapred , or ready ? i dont know . xoxo .
i want the best for me . i missyou , i do , really , i do . i miss you , but im sorry that things will change okay ? like you said , distance don't ruin relationships .

It won't be long .

For everything , thanks to my loved ones for caring . Kat , diena , nana , syai , miera , wani , faiz , zaidi , nomad , dayahh , peeqaa , miza , iqa , erin and more . I know for the smallest reasons what im gonna do is dumb . But please , i just need sometime alone . till when ?  I don't know , but , if im ready , i will text you . I promise . I just think that i can go through all these alone  . Because i dont wanna be a burden to any . I loveyou guys fr caring . Im still gonna lead the same life , but  a lil diff from last time cause i have new objections since all these happened . I can't go out as always , and perhaps , not anymore ? . But i will , to some , i can't meet you anymore , perhaps few months later ? . Im sorry if you are pissed off but , its the best for me . xoxo .
i miss my 2nd bestfriend damn much too but i hope he understands , i wanna be alone .

Picture perfect memories

 from left to right ( Ayil brother love , diena bbygirl , izaad brother love , faiz brother love , sam bestest , nomad baby , me. )
Hello breathing creatures . So , friday , what should i update about ? Oh yes , school . I had fun in school , especially with edwin  , faiz , nomad all around me that can make me smile and not think about my problems at all . ESPECIALLY YOU EDWIN ♥ . thank you so much . So , yes , school was fun expect for , i was sick , so is my bby nomad . awww~~ , my skandal olay , i sayang him . hehe . GET WELL SOON B! . Oh lessons lessons , mrs teh is teaching geography now , better cause i did not fall asleep . HAHA . After school went to meet baby boys and girls including my empire ladies in the canteen . I don't wanna talk about what happened in the canteen cause yes i went there shouting to a person i hate most! . He and she is so , ugh , i don't know , pathetic much . I was suppose to stayback and i meet my counseller but , i was really tired andi was sick and it was raining! . NO MOOD . And dad texted me to go for my doctor's appoinment anyway . Reached home , sleep , yeah , the usual stuff i do . Went to doctor then with dad and babygirl , dad giving a lift so good , i feel better already , hahahaha , fake! . -.- . joking(im not gonna update about my visit to the doctor :( ) . Reached home did nothing , texted hazreen and the usuals i text with everyday . I was really upset and i texted nomad , and he told me to be patient and he said "loveyou" . thanks b! . You the greatest , but i got the best , the bestest also . hahahaha . k shut . So , now , my phone credit is 20 plus , i gotta save till end of the month , i don'tthink i can do it , but , who cares ? hahaha . Tomorrow having kendarat at bangkit , im not well to do it , but i have to anyway . So , yea bby loves , till here then , me loveyou . xxoo .

For everything honey , you make me vulnerable .

Problematic bitches

Oh hello readers .awww~ OLD PICTUREEE!!!!! HAHAHAHA..So , today , school was kinda fun , but i was really lazy idk why ?!?!?! . LOL . I was really quiet in maths lesson as i had no mood at all , because of someone . ugh , whatever . Last period was social studies and yes , ms chong did not turn up ? wow. I had fun talking to nomad bby , and yes  faiz made my day by telling me a joke about rebonding..urrrr , pubic hair . hahahahah! it was hilarious that me ,edwin and thanesh coludn't stop laughing . So , the first class maths students had to stay back cause they fought with a trainee in class the day before . I was there , and she said the four letter words to us . F*** . Well , everything was solved today as she apologised for her wrong doings . I STILL DISLIKE YOU EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT MY MATHS TEACHER CAUSE YOUR FACE IS DAMN IRRITATING . UGH . So , i waited for my honey to finish meeting the teachers , oh yes , my honey is nana . Don't get me wrong , she is my friend . HAHAHA  . Went to canteen , talked to ayit about his problems , talked to kat , diena , babygirl , mizzy . ALL LA! hahaha , hug like so many years haven't met . Well , everyday hug so , its a daily routine . Oh , saw that cute boy !! hahahah , omg! . eeeh . k shut up . TEMPORARY CRUSH , he younger than me laaaa~~~ . Oh ya , to that bitch , i wanna slap your face real soon , you gonna get it , youwanna see the old me , yes , you are gonna see the old me , and many don't want that to happen , but , yes , you areso going to see the old me . I dont care if teachers know , your whores know , or whoever , im just gonna give it , if you are over girl , and yes , I HATE YOU AND YOUR PUNDEK BRO LA SIAL . Enough about ugly son of a bitch , so yes , i reached home early went out with family for awhile , awww . Daddy so cute cut hair , my daddy maaah~~ :) . Reac home , sleep , and mom wokeme up cause she felt my body was warm and i was having fever . Bestfriend is too . AWW , I LOVE YOU TOO BESTFRIEND THANKS ! :) . WOW , long or what my post?!?!?!? . HAHAAA , okay peers . ALL DONE . update soon , xoxo .

i think my fav boy is trying not to be mad at me , im sorry about saturday or even friday . sighs , why am i so busy ? i hate my life ..

PURRFECT BORING DAY .

Hello wonderful people  . Oh yes , i did not turn up for school today , but i did not watch world cup . HAHAHAHA . I waited for the score and spain won , yay ! . hahahaha , i am damn happy , woohoo . Most of my ex supported holland ? lol . Okay i should not blog about world cup or fav boy later say irritating . Oh yes , it was a boring day at home . i should have gone to school . HAHAHAH . regret . I ate alot of butter cookies at home , and ended uo vomitting it all out at night , now my stomach feels so bad . :( . sorry stomach . Oh yes , having elective module tomorrow , make up , to pe kong again . So , yes . i wanna watch movie with zaidi on friday but wonder if he want ah ? BBY TXT AKU !!! . hahaha , oh ya , he's my fav boy , a fav FRIEND , cannot accept the fact , your problem la~~~ . hahahaha , i dont live to please you . chey . So , ya , till here  lovess , me love you . xoxoxoxoxo .

you the best i ever had .

One way love .

Today was a short day for me , went out with daya and bbygirl to far east . Had fun , did buy some things and yes ,eat , i want vommit already . Dayah has a small body but big apettite . So ,  yes , short post , i lazy wanna blog , sorry kay bby ? My mom is such a nagger today and i can't stand my big brother , for today . I wanna post something to favourite boy zaidi :

You know i got your back no matter what ? we fight for like alot of times , and there was once we let go of each other  but we became friends back , for a reason , i love you deep down cause you've been there for me , sucha good friend , and i promise , i will try not to hurt you . 

And tomorrow school ends late , wow . I hate it . Fuck . Im over it . Okay . HAHAHA. Stupid fool , jealous over my favourite boy for what , up to you , hahahahaha , ALL I NEED IS FRIENDS . Bye baby loves . xoxo.


fuck your mind la .

Tenth of july ♥ .

Hello dearest loved ones .
Yesterday met up with my hunnaaaah ! ZAIDI .
He's dressing getting lazier , change already ! . hahaha .So yes , met at cck interchange around four plus. Oh , before zaidi reached there was someone who came up to me and asked me to dontae ? I was about to when he asked me , how old i was , and i said sixteen . And he said , i thought  you were 20, -.- . He shook my hand and said thank you cause only 21years andabove are allowed to donate . hahahaha . Anyhu , went to jurong point , we bought hand bands but , this time not identical , BUT , still buy together one for memories and same shop! hahahaha . Then , went to eat at long john , funny thing when the person asked me i want chilli or ketchup i think so long , zaidi also fed up with me . HAHA. Ate , talk , talk , ate , wow , we sat at long john talking for like hours ? maybe an hour or two ? So much to talk about. Oh ya , went to lot one and met up with cousin for awhile .
(skip the sad angry part please )
Cousin went home , me and zaidi slacked slacked slacked there , talk , take pichas , gossip , saw someone zaidi unexpected , sing , someone dance . -.- . hahahahaha , funny , AND FOR THE FIRST TIME , GREEN TEA MADE ME SICK . Around 12am plus , we say bye bye . :( . SAD . HAIYA . When can meet that best boy again ? SOON . HAHA . He bused home i cab home . yay . Okay dearest , that's all i got , will be meeting daya today afternon , xoxo .

You are sstill my number one crush even if it looks like its not you , its you . :)

Because the reason is stupid .

A life lived in love will never be dull.

You made me hurt & loved.

You are special.

Cause never did someone made me fall so hard for someone .

You made me fall hard for you .

Because you were diffrent .

And you zaidi , was the first biggest crush i ever had .
And i admit , i started to love you.

But for now,

I gotta let go of all my feelings , cause i don't wanna worry you no more.

or make you mad .

Welcome to my heart , second bestfriend ♥.
(we shall take caution.)

Stupid Dumb me .

Hello earthlings .
How was your day ? Mine was really fine , not! -.- . Whatever . So , i went to lotone to have dinner with dad . yummy , i had tom yam ban mian again . HAHA . addicted . So , was texting-texting with ahbeng , icannot concentrate eating sia ! CB HIM ! . hahahaha , there was ne he texted , "eh nui er ni chai na li??" isay i not your daughter stupid , he said , ok la you my grandmother la!!! -.- . HAHA . My crush did text me , but , aiya , nevermind...he got so many crush liao , so ya , that broke me spirit for awhile you know . BAD MOOD . Met that ahbeng after dinner with dad . Stupid go see through my pictures . My crush folder somemore!!!
He : your bf ah ?
me: no la .
he : then ?
me : my crush la  , kpo sia kau ! hahahaha .
he : then my  picture dun have ?
me : i dont love you so shut up la!!
HAHAHAHAHA , then all the way he bad mood . Eh , i stick to one la , sorry la sayang him okay ?
cute la tuu . So ya , atleast he cheered me up . So , im not sure when can i meet my cute crush urgh!!!!!
I miss him too much la , so sad right . Kay la , i try not to miss him so much la though i will miss him la , ok i talking crap sia seriously . OK bye , i dont know what to update , i no life when no plan . haha .
 xoxox .
to you :
wo pu sihuan ni , wo ai ni , ni tong pu tong mah ? wo pu che tao wo yao shuo semo , wo chende hen siang ni , ni shuo hen tuo nui ren si huan ni , wo yao ku liao ley , haiya , wei se mo ? wo de sing hen tong. :(

Oh my , two weeks .

Hello humans , oh yes , im updating my blog ! . haha . Oh ya , as you can see from my title , im counting down two weeks till i can meet my crush . i miss like like so much and too much . So , yesterday went study with iqamarishka and priscilla . We had fun , though its a study date . Someone boyfriend came . funny . haha . Walked around causeway as we left civic library at 9 . Went to eat at banquet . yum yum . Wow! . haha , so , i bragged about PURR how much i miss him blah blah blah . priscilla miss her love too , iqa ? idk . hahahaha . CUTE . So , met to meet the boys and i reach home around 11 plus ? wow . hahaha . study ~~ indeed , Today i have no plans , staying home la , wow . Imma goodgirl okay.  One day out enough la . k bby loves , till here then , love you  , xxoo .

i miss crush saying anyway , i miss his voice , i miss his nonsense , i miss when he says he miss me , i miss talking to him till morning comes up , i miss his stupid english accent , i miss the way he calls my name , i miss where he always calls me up  , i miss him , so much , from the bottom of my heart .

I will hang on no matter what .

It seems that this few days my peers and i have been having problems on love . Well , edwin , im here for you, you sit beside me , and when i saw you cry it really hurts me to see a guy cry that bad,  you must really love her , i know how you feel edwin , cheer up okay ? . So , to day school was kinda okay , fun , but sad ? Idk . Well , 3 days of reat , and i still havent met my crush , oh god , i miss him alot . Next saturday  , i really hope i can meet you , SIGHS , why la you call me flirt ? Am i really ? I just have alot of friends that love to joke around , you know i love you and only you PURRYS . :) . Now , at frina baby's crib . So , this blog is gonna be kinda dead since school has reopened , but i will try my best to update okay honey ? And oh yes , empie ladies will stick together okay ? I LOVE YOU GIRLS . Anyway , i sense that .. urmmm , never mind , im so stressed out about school , haha . Teachers oh teachers . LOOKING for me for my homework, hahaha , Must run sia . Okay bby loves , i got to go now , love you , mwah mwah mwah! :)


no matter how deep it hurts , i would still hang on , even if i have to hold on on a single thread .