Still trying

Im still here updating fr you guys , im maybe deleting it soon. Maybe transfering school is a new start for me.Well, im still thinking about it.ALL asked me to stay, Its not up to me guys, my dad. Moving to woodlands , reason ? near my sister's house. STILL UNSURE. Well many questios are left unanswered . Well, if im going , you'll never see me on the first day of school next year. If i am, which i'll be retaining Sec 3 , you'll see me guys...Yesterday at PTC, met counsellor with my dad, both say its best i transfer cause i'll be able to concentrate more than thinking of problems and solutions i should not think about...Miss charlene, thanks fr he love talk we had, appreciate it so much..well peers, im going off to bed, im having kendarat in the morning. Just wait fr 2010 okay? only a few months away, dont be ad, im more discouraged, but im bck on my feet. :) somehow, still thinking of him..you peers are the best ive ever had :)

Forget what i texted you, its just what i've been wanting to say, i know you love her, be your best okay??? i'll always be thinking of you...i miss you ; so much than before .

1314, your'e always within my heart .

What's mine ?

Last post and photo :(
I had to make a choice . What's mine ? I dont know yet. Should i leave the person i love and the people who love me? I dont know whats the best...Should i move ? Aaron cried, Tyler cried. Probably im moving . You bbygees and peers have to write me a thank you message cause im always there for all of you. Well, this blog is going to be deleted one day, the day where im never gonna see you guys again...The day where im changing school and home . Im gonna change a new mw, and proabky a new life. Its ot confirmed yet, but i have a strong feeling, everything will end with a goodbye...I WILL MISS ALL OF YOU SO MUCH...THANKS FOR BEING THERE FR ME..


3I PEERS(AYIL,AYIT,AHPAI):
you guys blaja okayyy?? jgn ingt lepak jerrrrrr! jgn aja sam bkn bkn ! love you guys.... :(


SAM BESTFRIEND:
i LOVE you so muchh bestfriend. cant afford to be losing you. just be good when im no longer there fr you okay??? remeber, no sins okay?? i'll be worried....:(


EDDY :
well, i must say im gonna miss you too eddy . wish you all the best in life and your love. I must definitely see you be back with her if i can..okay?? :)

IQA,MIZA,FRINA,ERIN :
These girls are the best. Always there fr me . sad , happy no matter what... you gals deserve the best out of each other, i love you all...


FYRZ,DIENA,IKASHY AND OTHERS :
im gonna miss you guys joke..alot..miss hanging out.. miss those girls conversation everytime we went to lot one..

3FRANKLINS:
you guys do best fr sec 4!!!! gotta go sec 5 ayeeee? TTYL .

remember, 1314 is ; forever...

the fifth month

Ive been strong, what i meant was trying to be strong. Here i am, stupidly just waiting. My hope of you still loving me is slowly fading.I cant stand the pain anymore...I missed you and couldn't stop thinking of you...ive changed for the worst i know. it was all because of you.I drowned myselfs with countless of guys to forget you...I did not do well fr my exams cause all i could think of was you...my heart got broken , i was duped by you. But somehow i still love you. i know you were the one, cuse i could not get you off my mind fr already 5 months. I knew what i did was stupid, foolish. Even if you don't love me anymore, forgive of all the mistakes i did. you said what i did to you will never be forgiven. Why? is it so damn fucking hurting? Well, i was damn hurt by you too boy...Cause i realised the reason fr the breakup 5months ago was an excuse, never a reason. The reason is you're freaking in love with another girl...you hurt me more im just telling you..hurt me deep...til now, i cry everynight missing the damn hell of you...do you know that? I tried hard to stay strong but i always breakdown somehow...and, its all because of you....
No matter what , that feeling i had fr you 5months ago is still here deep down...its just that you never knew or realised cause there's another girl that has all of you now...

BFF <3 Acam-Rawr

I know! he looks diif right? i cant believe it either! omgad! what is that im wearing?? fashion police!! haahaa, lasty, me and bestfriend was like so out of trend. now? coollll babes! well peeps, im just posting a random update about my bestfriend and me since i have no photos of the slumber party which someone deleted! mizzaaaaa! haahaa, well, take a look !
Sam and rawr faces : take note of our faces during sec 1 and sec 3 .
tag me, who changes the most! me or sam?
i uploaded the photos, starting sec 1 . haahaa. enjoy!






This was in the middle year of sec 2. we were having our it lesson. as usual, we are just so bored that we had to take out our phones yknow. haahaa. so funny! we were all still sec 2 yet...hahaa





Raya last year! luckily atill have this photo! haahaa. memorable! he told me he like macam malu gytu nk take picture! haahaa. kekek. can know he shy btw he pose kann? haahaa, sam oh sam....





New year! haahaa. i had a dance performance at gombak and he and the others came all the way to see our dance! they liked it for some shaky reasons! haahaa. you guys are so sweet!




Bestfriend wanted to meet up cause he was sad. at pondok ehh this pic? ohh ya! he just broke up with his ex girlfriend! talked about it to let it go and guess what?? tk pasal2 we end up jalan2 pat pasar malam with izad and farah if i remember! haahaa.




At east coast! 2g reunion! ahaaa, daddy drove me , him and fyr there by car. haahaa, i had so much fun.i was pushed in the water cause it was my birhtday few days later.i got sabo in advanced la kann people??. miss 2g so very much mates. so muchh. especially when i get to seat with sam and fadhil in class. so fun! ^.^





Oh my oh my. apex day. ARRRRRGGGHHHHHH! Kenangan terindah ever . me and ex boyfriend! aiya, diam ahhh. sedih sia ! haahaa. Cannot forget what happened at my house after apex day! totally. syafiqa was there! hahaa, funny! yet, unforgettable :( daah, what the heck. he was the one who wanted to take a picture this time, "rawr, ambek gmbr." haahaa.




I just met my boyfriend (ex boyfriend) outside his class when i bumped into him at the boys toilet! haahaa, and i said, "sam, ambek gmbrrr!!!" haahaa.




He was walking pass my class when i grabbed him and thank god apit offer to take picture,haaha. rawr rawr, tuu pon boleh remember la kau ni..... :)









I hated to have to wear that thing on my head at that time. And yaaaaar! i remember this clearly. Before meeting sam and ayit and teckwhye macdonald, syafiqa had her oje at yewtee mac. i had a bigg tiff with ex boyfriend. a very bad one. so bad tht everything changes and he wanted a break up a few days later? sad ahhhhhh, ??? so? its already over! haahaa, just flash backs babes. and sam was doing his art assignment that time. i remember he drew triblas! haahaa. cute!






During fasting month. Every single day would slack at canel after we break fast. With other lovely and noisy peeps too! hahaa, fun, funny. ^^








This was during raya. As you can see, he is not wearing his traditional costume la kann?? haahaa, i went to his house with peers obviously.Haahaaa, load of pictures actually. i put up some randomly though. Haaa, and see our stupid faces there? thats our trademark faces! Had fun time at his house and i love his mother maggie mee goreng! urgh! omgad, im craving for it! haahaa




The latest photo of me and bestie. Okay, this was taken at school canteen. Well, havin our breaks after our first half of the paper. what paper was it?? i forgot. haahaa. dumb me.Well, thats all i have to post, i really had nothing to post about. Hope this dosent bored you to death aye mates?? ILY mates so muchyyyy aye.

Whats wrong with me?

Perhaps, what i did was a mistake. a big one. i don't love you, im forcing myself to do so. its just that i pity you fr all those sweet things you said. Im crying. perhaps i cant take control of this feelings any longer. Im sorry , i cant acept the fact that you love me. no way. its either im dreaming, or perhaps one day you would dump me or you are using me. im sorrryyyy ...very sorrryyy.... :(

MASAM/MANIS ! ^^

Giving up love ...

I think its meaningless that i keep thinking about you while you love someone else? im giving up in all this bullshits im going through. my heart just cant take it any longer it hurts, you love her, try your best and get her back. you have my blessings, im always there fr you as a friend...we dont talk, never did since, well i find myself stupid hoping to get to feel the love we once had, i guess i was wrong and i realised that. im all shattered now being filled with regrets. Smile, live your life okay? Remember how you won my heart once? Im sure you can win her heart back like what you used to do...goodluck, and perhaps takecare, i dont think our past tense is being a future anymore..ps, im gonna miss you. i wish you all the best....
^^ [smiling happily]



its not love its destiny.

What hurts the most

Arent we sweet? hey, thats my bestest friend ever, SAM. I just wanna say i appreciate so much when i needed you and you were there for me. The time me and him broke up, you wanted to fight with him cause he made me cry everyday,you were there when i had a conflict going on between my friends.the day when i went to see amirul one last time at the hospital. Whatever it is, you were there for me. You always lent a shoulder for me to cry on.You have problems this days in love and life. I assure you that im going to be there for you too if you need someone to talk to okay?
im sure your grandfather is going to be fine and just pray hard for him. I LOVE YOU BESTFRIEND. well, im not myself today, as usual, i keep on missing him. i told myself, "come on, its been already 4months and i still cant get over you" i really feel like going fr a brain surgery [joking!] . Well, sometimes the questions why? how? are just not meant to be answered. DESTINY, knows it all. If im fated to be with that someone again, well, good fr me. if not, life just have to move on. Its been 4 months and i have no idea if he still knows i waiting. Gawsh, i kept myself strong hearing all those things about him. i got hurt for sure. but, thats life, it has its ups and downs right?
well peers, i gtg now.

ps, im stil not over you...

in loving memories Amirul Hafiq

You were a great person, a funny brave cheerful person. you never fail to make me laugh and smile. its diffrent now, you left this world on the 1st of october 2009 at 9.45am.You were special to us, i knew you tried all your best to fight the pain you had, but i guess the pain was unbearable for you. i knew you tried to fight the pain, and im proud of you amirul hafiq.i knew you heard us when we talked to you the last time we visitd you in hospital. you heard us, and that was why there were tears rolling down your cheeks.Allah loves you more, that was why he pulled your soul early.I gave my last ever kiss to you, i knew by then, its goodbye forever.nothing can make you come back. i miss you..nothing is the same no more....i'll pray to allah for you amirul hafiq, may you rest in peace... :(
mirul, i'll always remember you...for whatever mistakes you did, i forgive you...
you tried, and you were strong...

20 0ctober 1994-1 october 2009
he's the best ive ever met....